you can read up on disassociative disorder and get back with me when you're satisfied that is not what i am talking about here. i am talking about simple disassociation, not disorder level.
according to the authoritative science tome known as wikipedia, disassociation is commonly displayed on a continuum. at the nonpathological end are such merry adventures as daydreaming while driving a car and at way down in pathological-land are multiple personality disorder and PTSD.
a sense that self is unreal is called depersonalization and a sense that the world is unreal is derealization. technically, wikipedia lists these in the "pathological" section, but they're not talking about me and anyway, it's not real.
HAHA.
ahem.
sometimes i'll partake of a little derealization. not a big deal. i can quit anytime.
sometimes after watching a movie, especially if in a theatre, i'll experience an involuntary mind-quake and suddenly be watching myself hang up my jacket or whatever. clearly, that's an effect of having been immersed in the movie.
sometimes sitting in a meeting, my mind will spontaneously go all talking heads, "this is not my life", and i'll take a few minutes to explore the possibility that i am the only one who knows about the matrix.
pretty sure a side effect of derealization is mixed media metaphors.
anyway.
clearly that second one is a coping mechanism for the boredom of the meeting. it's the same sort of thing as daydreaming while driving, except it's closer than daydreaming because it's a riff on reality, not an alternate reality. i mean, if you're daydreaming, you'll miss your exit, but if you are derealizing, you can keep right on participating. you might even be a better participant because you're still there, watching yourself.
so.
sometimes it'll happen involuntarily due to having been steeped in the world of film or as a result of boredom.
sometimes, though, i will make it happen.
In mild cases, dissociation can be regarded as a coping mechanism or defense mechanism in seeking to master, minimize or tolerate stress – including boredom or conflict.
defense mechanism, sure, sure. that's totally plausible.
sometimes, though, it's simply fun.
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