12 August 2018

cement and the tiny screwdriver

we did a project today and in the box were nuts and bolts and washers and even a tiny screwdriver. i dumped all the bits into this small garmin box. can you find the screwdriver?

the project didn't go well. we ended up capping off the wires and leaving it for another day. the two main issues were cement and the tiny screwdriver. well, that's not fair. not the screwdriver per se, but rather the portion of the project in which it was involved. anyhoo, lack of success was had by all. we moved on to another project which was also unsuccessful. just one of those days.

i did realise something, tho, so it wasn't a total waste. i realised screwdrivers are color-coded. did you know this? phillips are blue-handled and flatheads are red. i literally never knew this but it makes so much sense. it sort of just clicked in my brain today as i was fetching tools. once i caught on, retrieving the correct tool became so much easier. standards are so the lubricant in the gears of life, are they not? (i assume it's a standard. it's true of all the variously branded screwdrivers in our possession.)

the tiny screwdriver is a flathead if that helps you find it.

08 August 2018

polynesian ramble

after we test drove the subarus, we stopped by chick-fil-a for a bite, and i spotted this roving polynesian on the restroom floor... sans lei.

05 August 2018

just ducky

there's a classic interview question: if you could be any animal, what animal would you be?

as for me and my self, we would choose duck.

why, you ask? let me count the ways.

10. ducklings achieve independence almost immediately. they're born with their eyes open and are flying within a couple months.
9. ducks' feet don't have nerves, so their feet never get cold.
8. ducks are omnivores, which is my favorite kind of vore.
7. quacking is fun.
6. ducks are unassuming. geese and swans, for example, are fussbudgets.
5. ducks have excellent vision.(1)
4. ducks can walk.
3. ducks can swim.
2. ducks can fly.
1. ducks can walk and swim and fly!

(1) Because a duck's eyes are located on either sides of its head, they have a field of vision of nearly 340 degrees. And thanks to the shape of their eyes, they can see objects both near and far simultaneously. To top it off, ducks have three eyelids and can see in color. -- http://mentalfloss.com/article/66642/10-delightful-duck-facts

01 August 2018

one transformative feature

if my life were a sitcom, one of the recurring characters would be this girl at chick-fil-a. she works there, so she's got to be at least 15, but i doubt she's more than 16. she's small, with glasses, a pixie cut, and rosy patches of acne on the apples of her cheeks. she's smart and funny and painfully shy... i deduced this from the minimalist smile she flashes, before she realizes what she's done, in response to my infinite wit.

one of her most distinguishing features is a heavy silver pendant on a short thick chain, sitting just in the notch of her penultimately buttoned uniform polo.

this pendant...



31 July 2018

ergo: Metallica

i switched on the radio to get some inspiration from NPR to write something for you and ended up listening to Metallica instead. i chose the radio in the first place because the audiobooks that i have right now suck. not that i am in a position to criticize anyone else's writing. i mean i'm having a hella time just ginning up two paragraphs, and these others have churned out thousands of words. but position be damned, amirite? because i will say it: these are not award-winning words they are churning.

when audible or the library suggests that people who read the books that i like also read these other books, it really makes me wonder about those people. did they really understand the books that they were reading that i like? because those books are unique and fast-paced, fresh and entertaining. they have well-rounded characters who develop during the story and plot lines that you wouldn't expect. intelligent books with smart yet realistic dialogue. books that show instead of tell. those are the books that i like.

these other books? these books that they say that the people who read the books that i like also like? most of them are routine with flat characters and tired plot lines. are the people who are reading the books that i like reading these other books just because there're not enough books in the world to keep them happy, or do they like these other books and they just read the books that i like because there're not enough books in the world to keep them happy? how could you not like the intelligent books with the well-rounded characters and the well-crafted plot lines? 

all that said to say, i cannot find enough quality audiobooks to keep me happy - ergo: Metallica.

30 July 2018

i'm not making excuses, but...

i don't write something every day 'cause i just don't know what to say.

i sit and sit before the screen, yet it's as blank as ever been.

its harder than you think, you know, to think of what to say, and so,

i don't write something every day 'cause i just don't know what to say.

i sit and sit before the screen, yet it's as blank as ever been.

its harder than you think, you know, to think of what to say, and so,

i don't write something every day 'cause i just don't know what to say.

i sit and sit before the screen, yet it's as blank as ever been.

its harder than you think, you know, to think of what to say, and so,

i don't write something every day 'cause i just don't know what to say.

26 July 2018

make mine a stovepipe.

why don't we decorate our cars more? i mean, sure, there're bumper stickers, magnets, and the occasional wrap, but most of us are decidedly dully rolling up & down the freeway. would you wear the same clothes every day? okay, not you, you freak. no one is talking to you. would the rest of you wear the same clothes every day? no, you would not. why do you wear the same car every day? why do any of us? seems to me there's a whole untapped market for car hats, scarves, and double-breasted jackets.