when I was a child, none of the boys in the neighborhood tried to show me their penis. in elementary school, no boy tried to hold my hand, none chose to sit next to me on the bus, none offered to carry my books, no boy tried to kiss me. in junior high, a boy tied my jumper sash to the chair in study hall, but he never tried to touch me and he grew up to be gay.
i was smart, but not popular. i was cis, but not sexy. i did not get invited to parties or to dances or on dates. as a high school senior and beyond, i had boyfriends, relationships, broken hearts, but i didn't get put in situations where i felt powerless.
boys and men have always treated me with standoffish respect. i've never been cat called. i've never been made to feel uncomfortable. my colleagues invariably shake my hand - they don't hug me or touch me in other ways. they don't say inappropriate things.
i am not subject to harassment.
do i have more control over these things than the #metoo crowd? i doubt it. i don't think it works that way. i don't know how it works. was i too ugly to attract attention? too smart? too androgynous? too snarky?
the thing is, tho... all this #metoo and i can't help but wonder why #noti.