both could be true.

this is not my first blog.

my first one, i've now removed from online altogether. i downloaded it and think i still have the files around here somewheres. then i started what's now known as bareyellowbulb vol. 1 -- http://bareyellowbulb1.blogspot.com/ -- and then i started what's now known as bareyellowbulb vol. 2 -- http://bareyellowbulb2.blogspot.com/ -- and then i started this one, bareyellowbulb.

i will go back and read them sometimes, but it seems like i get caught up in reading the same damn posts over and over, like there is only this one set of posts and i am trapped only ever landing on them. i'd like to sort through all the posts and find the poetry, maybe publish that all in one place or something, or make a book and sell it on etsy. that being said, i must not really want to, or i would do it.

not that anyone would purchase a volume of my poetry, but i could have it printed and bound and give it as gifts to watch people be embarrassed, not knowing what to say about such a personal gift and also wondering what to say about my terrible amateur poetry, while all along i only gave it to watch them be embarrassed by imagining it's a personal gift and wondering what to say.

is that mean? to set people up like that? i don't know... you could say it's mean to not be able to honestly say nice things about peoples' poetry, which might not be to your tastes, but which they probably put some time into, and would it kill you to just say, this is nice, in appreciation of their time & effort.

in college, i took a poetry writing class and got a C so i obviously thought the instructor was a self-involved little prick, but looking back at that poetry now, most of it was pretty tortured, so i am not sure my characterization of him is quite fair. i haven't changed my mind about him, though. just because my poetry wasn't top-notch, that doesn't make him not a prick. both could be true.