of leafs

eat less.
sleep more.
stretch after exercise.
write every day.

when does a new leaf become just a leaf? is there a limit to turning the same damn leaf over again and again? how many times can i be disappointed in myself before i change? how many times??

i can't run right now because my foot hurts because i tried running every day without stretching. i mean, i would sort of do some stretchish things, but mostly i would be like DONE! and get in the car. when i am hurt, i vow - as god is my witness, i'll never skip stretching again. if only i could remember what it felt like being hurt, when i am not hurt... but when i get better and the stretchnesia sets in.

how long has it been since i wrote something here? i didn't even look... did you? it's been a while, that i know. the time just sort of compounds. i do get disappointed in myself for not writing, but with every passing day, it's just easier to skip it. inertia is the devil. my disappointment is multiplied because, despite posting publicly, i post for myself. i mean, don't get me wrong, i love that the three or four of you drift by and give me some attention. but really, i am writing because it's good for my brain, for my ability to self-express, for my dusty creativity... pluswise, the discipline of daily writing requires the discipline of daily discovery of something the hell to write about. when i allow myself to fall out of the habit of writing, i by definition allow myself to fall out of the habits of observation and curiosity. bottom line - by skipping it, alls i am doing is letting myself down.

i don't actually eat too much. that's just there for dramatic effect, and i definitely don't get enough sleep but probably kidding myself if i pretend i am going to do anything about that.

let's just work on stretching and writing.