targeted ads are like stalkers, peeping in through my microsoft windows, watching me take a virtual bubble bath. word on the street is the millennials like the creepy buggers. is that true? those weird children like all sorts of weird shit. as for me, today i got an ad for tickets to the wiggles in baltimore, and as i am in neither the baltimore demographic nor the wiggles demographic, i feel this is pretty much a win for stealthdom.
that said, there IS a bit of peeping that would add value at online retailers - look in my cart and tell me if i am freaking ordering two of the same bloody thing! see, i have all these pretend dollars to spend at banana republic (the parent company of gap and old navy), so i loaded up a virtual cart of old navy cardigans and one dress. when i got the shipment notification with a list of my shipment (i.e., the former occupants of my shopping cart), what to my wondering eyes should appear but two (2!!) of the dress.
what the hell, old navy?? in what universe do people want two of the exact same piece of clothing that isn't a standard tee shirt or somesuch? in what universe?? not this one, that's for damn sure.
how hard would it have been for old navy to have stopped and asked me to confirm that i want 2 of x? yeah, i am thinking not that hard. "you have ordered two of the exact same thing. confirm?" i mean, they are churning up a custom email based on the contents of my cart as soon as i put anydamnthing in it. maybe "two of the exact same thing" could trigger a wee alert? seriously, as long as you are looking, make yourself useful!
i cherish your thoughts on this grave matter.
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