we've been working on a remodel since the day we met with our first contractor a couple years ago. mike, a 6'4" cajun who lacked punctuality and wasn't particularly forthcoming with specifics, made up for these shortcomings #tallshorthaha with sheer enthusiasm. he'd exude excitement like a puppy peeing all over the kitchen floor. #gross we'd met with him a few times and were ready to start placing materials orders, when mike announced that luke bryan (then, the recent winner of some sort of up-and-coming artist award) had hired mike to build luke's new house.
goodbye, first guy.
just before the door firmly struck his ass, he was kind enough to put us in touch with a builder at the company he was leaving for luke. hmm... say... wouldn't it be better to skip the contractor middle-man and get straight to the builder? #amirite we met with the builder, and there was a good feeling all around the table, an eagerness to get started on the project. we talked for an hour, maybe two, just hashing #smotheringcovering things out. he said he'd call in a few days, shook hands, and we watched him walk down the back steps. that was the last time we ever saw him.
goodbye, second guy.
i don't think it was anything sinister, but he definitely fell off the face of the earth. i mean, c'mon, how hard is it to return a phone call? after waiting a respectable amount of time, we started courting a new contractor, a guy named wayne that my old man knew from way back in the day. #theyreold
wayne is a horse guy. like, literally, a guy with horses. he had to be home before dark round 'em up or head 'em out or somesuch #yipeekaiyay and this restriction combined with his inability to be anywhere on time EVER really ate into our meetings. on top of this horsing around, he was terrible #understatement with the numbers. like, we met a few times, and he took notes, and then he presented us with a "budget" which comprised one huge lump sum. we were like, um... our sum isn't quite that lumpy and where are the line items. he was like, well, tell me some things you don't want to include and i'll subtract them. we were like, how the hell do we know what we want to subtract, when there're no line items. it went on like that for three or four meetings until i was like, no mas. he's supposed to be trying to win our business and he's pissing us off. #yikes
goodbye, third guy.
enter Gym Guy Brad. like a sorority girl at a bar, my old man shamelessly picked up Gym Guy Brad at the fitness facility and brought him home like a proud cat with a mouse. #mixedmetaphor fourth time's a charm, i guess, because Gym Guy Brad possesses the two traits i look for most in a contractor: charm and blue eyes. he's also detail-oriented, provides terrific line item budgets, is unfailingly on time, and is freaking #literally named BRAD. he shares just enough ideas to keep the momentum but, being the consummate professional, Gym Guy Brad steadfastly refuses to participate in deciding what color countertops we should choose or whether we are really best served by knocking down that wall. #coldwarref
hello, fourth guy.
the appliances we ordered are sitting in the garage, poised for installation. the cabinets should be done in a week or so. today we packed up the kitchen because a crew will arrive monday morning to demolish it, in all its #groovy harvest gold glory.
i'm eager for the new kitchen, but it's bittersweet. i grew up in this kitchen. every thing i can cook, i learned to cook on this stovetop. every muffin mix and cake mix and brownie mix i ever inexpertly mixed, met its end in this oven. but come monday #itllbealright - it's all going... even the kitchen sink. #sadface
No comments:
Post a Comment