run like you stole something.
say it like you mean it.
dance like no one is watching.
run like you bought something.
say it like you're lying.
dance like a crowd is closely observing.
run like you borrowed something.
say it like you're ambivalent.
dance like some guy is there.
run like you put something back.
say it with mime.
dance like you're a wolf.
04 March 2015
03 March 2015
dirty little snow lump
i was gonna take you a picture, but i didn't want to get out of the car. picture of what? snowpiles! there are still piles of snow around! dirty, sure, i'll give you that. small, mangled, pushed into the corner. but still - it's snow and it's there. rural legend is that if snow sticks around more than 3 days, it's waiting on more snow. i suppose that we shall see... it's supposed to snow tomorrow night. maybe it will and maybe there will be more piles of snow. clean snow!
it's snowed around here quite a bit this year. snow and ice. lots of snow and ice, freezing rain, freezing fog, refreezing ice and snow. it's been so bad, my office closed two full days and a few partial days due to weather. you don't know my office, but that's highly unusual. highly. unusual.
i like winter. i like snow. i like clouds and grey and cold and drizzle. firstly, on pretty days there is all this pressure to go outside. in winder, you are SUPPOSED to stay inside. i like that.
but i also like getting outside on the cold drizzly days. i like being that crazy person who goes outside when the weather is terrible. that's one thing. another is that running in the heat can be so oppressive. the cold air weighs less.
all summer, when the sun is pressing the humidity down and the heat is weighing on me like a blazing million pounds, i am just hanging in there, just holding on like a malformed, dirty little lump of snow, waiting on the winter.
it's snowed around here quite a bit this year. snow and ice. lots of snow and ice, freezing rain, freezing fog, refreezing ice and snow. it's been so bad, my office closed two full days and a few partial days due to weather. you don't know my office, but that's highly unusual. highly. unusual.
i like winter. i like snow. i like clouds and grey and cold and drizzle. firstly, on pretty days there is all this pressure to go outside. in winder, you are SUPPOSED to stay inside. i like that.
but i also like getting outside on the cold drizzly days. i like being that crazy person who goes outside when the weather is terrible. that's one thing. another is that running in the heat can be so oppressive. the cold air weighs less.
all summer, when the sun is pressing the humidity down and the heat is weighing on me like a blazing million pounds, i am just hanging in there, just holding on like a malformed, dirty little lump of snow, waiting on the winter.
02 March 2015
acing the test
on the way home, i heard this story on NPR about the "ace" test, and of course i was like, whaaat?
turns out, this ACE stands for Adverse Childhood Experience. well, that sounds like fun. who doesn't like a little adverse childhood experience to liven up the commute home? so i stayed tuned.
from 1995 through 1997, more than 17,000 adults had a standard physical exam and took the quiz. i'm sure they've had some dropout, die, etc., but the majority are being tracked right on through life. what the researchers have found is that there is a high correlation between adverse childhood experience and poor adult health.
they found that higher ACE scores correlated to higher alcoholism, depression, suicide attempts, smoking, sexual promiscuity, physical inactivity, and obesity.
i assume the value here is, now that the study is done, funding for prevention of ACEs can be sought. prevent the ACE, prevent the unhealthy adult. methods can be developed, tested, implemented. plus, unhealthy adults can perhaps be better served.
what i don't get about these sorts of studies is that they aren't telling us anything we didn't know. dysfunction breeds dysfunction. no shit.
what they need to do is a study on how many of us lived through ACEs and came through healthier. hell - i took the quiz, and without even digging, i racked up quite a few points. so what? who cares about ACE points? i am perfectly normal. i mean, what could be more normal than craving to run for miles and miles, all by myself?
there's some good info on the ACE here: http://acestoohigh.com/got-your-ace-score/. at the end of that page, there's something called the resilience questionnaire. i couldn't really tell exactly what is the purpose of that second questionnaire, but i could tell that it did nothing to increase my sense of confidence in my upbringing.
turns out, this ACE stands for Adverse Childhood Experience. well, that sounds like fun. who doesn't like a little adverse childhood experience to liven up the commute home? so i stayed tuned.
from 1995 through 1997, more than 17,000 adults had a standard physical exam and took the quiz. i'm sure they've had some dropout, die, etc., but the majority are being tracked right on through life. what the researchers have found is that there is a high correlation between adverse childhood experience and poor adult health.
they found that higher ACE scores correlated to higher alcoholism, depression, suicide attempts, smoking, sexual promiscuity, physical inactivity, and obesity.
i assume the value here is, now that the study is done, funding for prevention of ACEs can be sought. prevent the ACE, prevent the unhealthy adult. methods can be developed, tested, implemented. plus, unhealthy adults can perhaps be better served.
what i don't get about these sorts of studies is that they aren't telling us anything we didn't know. dysfunction breeds dysfunction. no shit.
what they need to do is a study on how many of us lived through ACEs and came through healthier. hell - i took the quiz, and without even digging, i racked up quite a few points. so what? who cares about ACE points? i am perfectly normal. i mean, what could be more normal than craving to run for miles and miles, all by myself?
there's some good info on the ACE here: http://acestoohigh.com/got-your-ace-score/. at the end of that page, there's something called the resilience questionnaire. i couldn't really tell exactly what is the purpose of that second questionnaire, but i could tell that it did nothing to increase my sense of confidence in my upbringing.
01 March 2015
1913
this evening, we were watching a movie set in 1913, and on a rainy say in the movie, all the folks were hoisting bumbershoots. lots of bumbershoots. lots and lots and lots of identical ebony black bumbershoots.
did you hear said i did there? same. exactly the same.
when we look back at these bygone eras and say -- damn, life was simpler then -- what we are talking about is shit like identical ebony umbrellas.
because we sure as hell are not talking about anything to do with gaining the funds or keeping up your strength enough to acquire an identical ebony umbrella.
case in point: preparing the nightly repast. no take out. no microwave. no frozen burritos. in fact, no "frozen" at all. starting from freaking scratch every freaking time. what WAS simple was choosing what to eat because there were so few freaking options. pork bellies and lard cakes. maybe a stale apple for dessert.
everything was complicated. getting dressed? complicated. preparing meals? complicated. making purchases necessary to run a household? complicated. taking a freaking crap? complicated as hell.
nothing was automatic. nothing was automated. accomplishing any one thing was not simple. there was a lot of dirt, a lot of fixing things yourself, a hell of a lot of walking just to get somewhere, and a freaking lot of sameness.
so.
there was nothing simple about the doing. the simplicity came in what you did.
case in point: acquiring an identical ebony umbrella. first, it took forever to save the money. then, the shopping trip had to be arranged to accommodate harvest time. finally, you had to walk three miles through the muck to the general store. BUT, when you arrived -- no prolonged decision-making necessary! there were only identical ebony black umbrellas. rows and rows of identical ebony black umbrellas.
what could be easier?
did you hear said i did there? same. exactly the same.
when we look back at these bygone eras and say -- damn, life was simpler then -- what we are talking about is shit like identical ebony umbrellas.
because we sure as hell are not talking about anything to do with gaining the funds or keeping up your strength enough to acquire an identical ebony umbrella.
case in point: preparing the nightly repast. no take out. no microwave. no frozen burritos. in fact, no "frozen" at all. starting from freaking scratch every freaking time. what WAS simple was choosing what to eat because there were so few freaking options. pork bellies and lard cakes. maybe a stale apple for dessert.
everything was complicated. getting dressed? complicated. preparing meals? complicated. making purchases necessary to run a household? complicated. taking a freaking crap? complicated as hell.
nothing was automatic. nothing was automated. accomplishing any one thing was not simple. there was a lot of dirt, a lot of fixing things yourself, a hell of a lot of walking just to get somewhere, and a freaking lot of sameness.
so.
there was nothing simple about the doing. the simplicity came in what you did.
case in point: acquiring an identical ebony umbrella. first, it took forever to save the money. then, the shopping trip had to be arranged to accommodate harvest time. finally, you had to walk three miles through the muck to the general store. BUT, when you arrived -- no prolonged decision-making necessary! there were only identical ebony black umbrellas. rows and rows of identical ebony black umbrellas.
what could be easier?
27 February 2015
the patience of stars
if it isn't fact, then it's fiction.
if it's not the truth, it's a lie.
i look up, and i see a sky full of stars.
you look up and see only sky.
the smile on his face could fool you.
the plans in his heart could kill.
he thinks that you'll never leave him,
and i think that maybe you will.
so, i'll wait for you here by the water.
and i'll wait for you here by the shore.
and i'll wait and i'll wait, wait and i'll wait.
and then i will wait even more.
if it's not the truth, it's a lie.
i look up, and i see a sky full of stars.
you look up and see only sky.
the smile on his face could fool you.
the plans in his heart could kill.
he thinks that you'll never leave him,
and i think that maybe you will.
so, i'll wait for you here by the water.
and i'll wait for you here by the shore.
and i'll wait and i'll wait, wait and i'll wait.
and then i will wait even more.
26 February 2015
[insert reaction here]
yesterday we were literally wrapping up the project plan, putting the final touches on the design, fixing to enter the design build stage - that part where they take what we said we wanted and program it up. so that's where we were, dotting i's and whatnot, when a teammate asked: "when will we get to [enter project-shifting base-level criteria here]?"
i was dumbfounded. not that we'd overlooked something, which we'd not, but rather, that something i'd been communicating since day one as NOT NOT NOT part of the scope was, at the very last day, asked about.
my top ten reactions:
10. " ."
9. yo no hablo inglés.
8. well, would you look at the time. gotta go. bye.
7. for a second there, i thought you mentioned the possible last-minute addition of a clearly out-of-scope feature. sorry for thinking you'd be that stupid.
6. seriously? seriously??
5. it's the very. last. day. we're not going to "get to" anything else.
4. if it's important, you should have mentioned it even once in the eight months we've been planning.
3. aaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. this is not in scope. i said NOT NOT NOT.
1. we got to that last week. where were you?
i was dumbfounded. not that we'd overlooked something, which we'd not, but rather, that something i'd been communicating since day one as NOT NOT NOT part of the scope was, at the very last day, asked about.
my top ten reactions:
10. " ."
9. yo no hablo inglés.
8. well, would you look at the time. gotta go. bye.
7. for a second there, i thought you mentioned the possible last-minute addition of a clearly out-of-scope feature. sorry for thinking you'd be that stupid.
6. seriously? seriously??
5. it's the very. last. day. we're not going to "get to" anything else.
4. if it's important, you should have mentioned it even once in the eight months we've been planning.
3. aaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrgh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. this is not in scope. i said NOT NOT NOT.
1. we got to that last week. where were you?
25 February 2015
his name is mike anderson.
so, the story goes that this mr badguy in missouri robbed some other guy at gunpoint, got arrested, had a trial and whatnot, received a sentence of 13 years. 13 years is sort of a randomish, eh? yeah.
he bonded out and went home to await the result of his appeals, which exhausted themselves unfavorably. the failure of his appeals should have resulted in law enforcement's rearresting him and hauling him off to the pokey.
mr badguy waited for the lawmen. the first week, no one called. second week, no call, no letter. third week, no call, no letter, no personal stop-by visit. mr badguy sittin' around all lonelylike waiting for somebody come take him to jail. he waited and waited and waited...
while he was waiting, he got married, started a family, established a construction business, volunteered at his church, and committed nary another crime. nary a one!
then, after he waited 13 years, suddenly the state noticed the clerical error. 13 years. seems like we've heard that... oh, right. IT WAS HIS SENTENCE. dollars to donuts someone went to let ol' mr badguy OUT of jail and discovered he'd never been there at all.
well. to rectify this egregious error, mr badguy was summoned to jail.
and, he went. he went to jail and stayed 10 months before his case worked its way in front of a judge who said, basically, "what the hell is wrong with you people?? clearly this is a rehabilitated man - and self-rehabilitated, at that!" the attorney general agreed, and in the spring of 2014, they let mr badguy get on back to his stunningly normal life.
in november of 2014, six months after he returned to normalcy, the cops picked him up again. having previously not been jailed for a crime he did commit, he was this time jailed for a crime he did not commit. is that irony? he was accused on a very flimsy identification of having stolen a woman's purse. long story short, he didn't do it.
early in february of 2015, mr badguy was released again. having incorrectly not served time and incorrectly served time, mr badguy no doubt harbors a bit of justifiable residual bitterness towards the judicial system.
he bonded out and went home to await the result of his appeals, which exhausted themselves unfavorably. the failure of his appeals should have resulted in law enforcement's rearresting him and hauling him off to the pokey.
mr badguy waited for the lawmen. the first week, no one called. second week, no call, no letter. third week, no call, no letter, no personal stop-by visit. mr badguy sittin' around all lonelylike waiting for somebody come take him to jail. he waited and waited and waited...
while he was waiting, he got married, started a family, established a construction business, volunteered at his church, and committed nary another crime. nary a one!
then, after he waited 13 years, suddenly the state noticed the clerical error. 13 years. seems like we've heard that... oh, right. IT WAS HIS SENTENCE. dollars to donuts someone went to let ol' mr badguy OUT of jail and discovered he'd never been there at all.
well. to rectify this egregious error, mr badguy was summoned to jail.
and, he went. he went to jail and stayed 10 months before his case worked its way in front of a judge who said, basically, "what the hell is wrong with you people?? clearly this is a rehabilitated man - and self-rehabilitated, at that!" the attorney general agreed, and in the spring of 2014, they let mr badguy get on back to his stunningly normal life.
in november of 2014, six months after he returned to normalcy, the cops picked him up again. having previously not been jailed for a crime he did commit, he was this time jailed for a crime he did not commit. is that irony? he was accused on a very flimsy identification of having stolen a woman's purse. long story short, he didn't do it.
early in february of 2015, mr badguy was released again. having incorrectly not served time and incorrectly served time, mr badguy no doubt harbors a bit of justifiable residual bitterness towards the judicial system.
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